What we did: Volunteered at Prem Dan, Jeff was sick
Budget: 3500R/$70; Spent: 3400R/$68
It was the earliest morning in a long time. We woke up 5:15am to
see mass at the mother house.
· It would be our first day of volunteering in Kolkata
at Mother Theresa’s Charity and we both woke up excited for the day. Unfortunately
Jeff got sick almost immediately after brushing his teeth. He vomited several times but afterwards he thought he felt better and decided he would go to mass anyway and see how he
felt there.
· Midway through mass Jeff left to go to the
bathroom due to nausea. He threw up a couple more times. It was clear he was
not well enough to volunteer that day.
· The charity provides volunteers with a very
simple breakfast of chai tea, bananas, and bread. I ate while Jeff sat down on
a chair. He eventually had to leave for the bathroom again because he was feeling ill. Turns out bad
things were going on at both ends for Jeff.
· I spoke with Sister Mercy Maria about Jeff to
see if there was anything she could do. She had dozens of people coming up to
her and waiting to talk to her. She told me to have Jeff come see her. I didn’t
want to leave Jeff alone all day in case he needed something. He insisted on
going back to the room and that he would be fine by himself but I wanted him to stay at
the motherhouse so that he wasn’t alone. Jeff eventualy agreed to this so we put two
wooden benches side by side so that Jeff could lie down. Barbara had spoken to
Sister Mercy Maria and she seemed to think Jeff could stay there until we returned
from our morning volunteer shift. This turned out not to be the case, but we
didn’t find this out until later.
· Jeff needed to keep hydrated, so I went looking
for some water for him. At first, I couldn’t find anything…. I walked up and down
the street but nothing was open…I walked passed Tiny Tim who was lying on the side of the road wrapped
up in the blanket we gave him. It looked like he was sleeping so I thought I’d check on him
when I walked back by him. I finally found some water and as I passed by Tiny Tim I
bent down to check on him. He was very still, so I started snapping my fingers
to get him to respond. He didn’t. When I bent down lower I noticed that his
sweet little eyes were open…I didn’t want to believe what I thought had
happened. The nice man who had put the blanket on Tiny Tim the other day was
sitting nearby and I walked over to him. He didn’t speak English, but he knew
what I was asking, and he confirmed my fears. As soon as I had understood Tiny
Tim had passed away, tears began flowing down my face and I quickly began
walking away. One lady I rushed passed asked what was wrong… Oddly, the man had
smiled when he told me of Timmy’s passing, and only later did I realize that he
had mimed having a blanket wrapped around him, referencing Timmy. Maybe he
thought our small act of kindness had affected the last moments of his life…we
can only hope so.
· I didn’t have the heart to tell Jeff what I had
seen when I returned. He looked really sick and didn’t speak much. We explained
to him that he could stay there until we returned after our morning shift,
since we didn’t want him traveling on his own. At least the Sisters could take
care of him if he stayed here. Or so I thought, anyway.
· Turns out Jeff woke up at about 10am, and Sister
Mercy Maria explained to him that he couldn’t stay there, which she insisted
she had explained to Barbara earlier. Unfortunately, Barbara had not
communicated this to us. Seems like Jeff had a very interesting conversation
with Sister Mercy Maria. She asked Jeff where he was from and asked whether he
lived near North Dakota, which is where another Sister is from. She asked about
the reservation system in Canada and inquired whether it is as bad as in the
U.S. Jeff is of course very passionate about that topic, having been to several
northern reservations through work, and he explained the unfortunate conditions
that many of the reservations are in. He explained to me that the Sister
immediately had an effect on him. He found it easy to talk to her and that she
truly had an aura of peace about her. I had also felt this in my brief
encounters with her, though it seems like Jeff, having had a longer conversation
with her, had felt it more strongly. He explained to me that he had nearly been
brought to tears by a number of things he told her about, including talking
about the reservations in Canada, but also being away from his family for
Christmas. Sister Mercy Maria is definitely a unique person and perfectly
suited to her job coordinating the volunteers.
· After their talk, she gave Jeff some hydrating
salts and put them into his water. She told him to drink about half of the
water bottle in small sips before leaving, and to finish the whole bottle
before lunch. Even though Jeff was basically getting kicked out, he said to me
he never really felt like that.
· Once Jeff exited the building, he found a small
store to buy some Gatorade before making his way back to the hotel by taxi. He
had no problems getting home and crawled into bed.
· Meanwhile, at Prem Dan I spent the first part of
the morning helping out with laundry. Let me say first that they do not use
washing machines or dryers in the vast majority of places in India. The charity is no different. This is simply how they do things. There is absolutely
nothing fancy about the charity's facilities. Everything is done in a traditional and
old-fashioned way. Their processes have begged some questions about why they
haven’t improved their efficiencies over time. Many believe they have lots of funding
coming in yet the facilities don’t improve much. Subsequently this has opened
the charity up to much criticism and controversy. But that’s a topic for another
time.
About 30 of us ladies stood in front of
concrete ledges about waist height. Some rang out the clothing of water and
soap, others were doing the soaking in the 3 large sinks, and several others
were doing the initial soaking and scrubbing of the laundry. Every so often a
Massy (an employeed woman at the charity) would yell at us to go faster. Then
water would begin splashing everywhere as the volunteers frantically tried to
go faster. Some of the volunteers who had been there longer began advising the
newer ones on how to do things. This makes for an interesting environment, not
a negative one, but just potentially volatile if someone is sensitive. I found
it hard to do it so fast. None of the laundry ever seemed clean enough. Barbara
had taken me under her wing and we did the 20 minute walk to the home together.
Once the laundry had almost finished she grabbed me and started showing me
around the place. We went upstairs to the roof to where the laundry was drying
and she said hello to a lot of the same people she had worked with in prior
years, both patients and masseys. She told me to just do whatever I felt
comfortable doing. She kind of went through what the morning usually consists
of and said that nobody would be on my case about anything and that it was all up
to me. We went back downstairs and into the sleeping
area for the higher needs patients. It was just a massive room with concrete
walls with beds lined up in rows. Imagine a military hospital but replace the
doctors with nuns and masseys and the nurses with volunteers. On the way to
Prem Dan Barbara told me about a patient she recalled would sit there staring
with her eyes wide open as if in terror and she would just hold her hands up
like she was trying to protect herself. Oddly, she was one of the first
patients we came across as we walked in. There was a Spanish lady holding her
hand and caring for her. Barbara struck up a conversation with the Spanish lady
and I just looked at the girl. It was hard to say how old she looked. Her body
looked so frail. They had shaved her head. What a pretty face she had. She was
just curled up under covers with the same big eyes Barbara described. She
couldn’t speak or move much. The Spanish lady explained that she had been raped
over and over by the same man. Another lady standing nearby piped in and told us
she remembered her about 10 years ago living in the home when she was a
beautiful young girl who would sing and dance at the home. She said she
believed she had a degenerative disease of some kind. I stood there looking at
her. She was staring in my direction. Hearing all this, and then looking into
her eyes was too much for me so I left to collect myself. I prayed that I would
be strong enough to collect myself for the day so that I could actually help
people. I walked back in and found Barbara. We went over to the other highest
need patient lying in bed. She was much older and much weaker. She was either asleep or
unconscious but I couldn’t tell. The
same Spanish lady explained she had gang green on her leg and that in places
like India, people often die of Gang Green. All the sisters do is care for
them. Perhaps she was too old to have surgery on the leg. I don’t know much
else about her condition but it was certainly a shocking start to my day.
From there I
turned to my right and in the distance saw an older lady by herself in a darker
corner of the room. She was trying to sit up and was bent over with her head
down in bed. She looked quite fragile. Many of the workers were walking by her,
and seemed too busy to notice her. I tried to motion to the masseys that she
was trying to get up but they mumbled something and ignored me. So I walked
over to her and helped her sit up. When I looked at her face for some reason
tears welled up in my eyes and I don’t really know why. Perhaps it was that I
was just not used to seeing someone in her condition. She couldn’t speak and her
eyes were half shut. She looked half conscious yet she was still trying to sit
up. As a sister was walking by, I asked what her name was and learned her name
is Dupally. Dupally made some quiet noises as she attempted to prop herself up.
I sat there with her for a bit but she didn’t seem satisfied. I soon realized
she wanted to stand up. She hesitated as if she was a bit nervous about trying,
but soon she was standing. I really didn’t think she would be strong enough to
get anywhere but I thought maybe she would be happy with a few steps away from her bed.
As we stood there she slowly took one step forward with no expectations of
going any further than that. One step became 2, then 3 and so on until soon we
were at the entrance to the sun room. I found a chair for her to rest in next to
another older lady who was just sitting by herself looking out the big windows
in front of her. I thought they could be friends if they weren’t already.
Shishuballa was her name. Of course I didn’t know this at the time. She was a
cute little old lady. She was happy to have Dupally and me sit with her. She
looked at Dupally and grabbed her hand. Dupally can’t speak, and Shishuballa
only speaks Bengali and Hindi so it was interesting trying to communicate.
Sometimes smiling goes a long way. The 3 of us rested there for a bit. Chai came around for the patients and we continued sitting there while Shishuballa drank her chai. Soon later, Dupally sitting there with her head down, slowly put her hands on the arm rests in an effort to get up. When I realized it I got up and put her arm around my neck and we walked. This time she seemed determined. She was much stronger and her steps were faster. We walked bent over all the way outside and down the steps until we arrived at a concrete bench beside the garden. Dupally finally looked at peace being outside. I imagine she hadn't been outside for a long time so the feeling of sun on her face and fresh air must have been a wonderful feeling and I was happy for her.
We sat there for a while. Eventually Dupally found a comfortable position just resting her head on my lap. The whole time we had been carrying her blanket from inside around and when she lied on me her blanket was sitting in the gravel so I motioned for her to sit up but she made a disapproving sound and so I didn't argue. We sat there for a long time together. Every no and then I would lift her up to see if she wanted to go back inside but she made that same disapproving little noise. So we sat there some more. After a while she fell asleep so I decided it was time to take her back in. When I lifted her again and insisted on getting her up she disapproved again and then just laid on my shoulder with my arm around her. I looked her and she had tears in her eyes. It was one of the most moving moments of my life. After a little while she was ready to go back inside. Again, she walked took her steps a bit faster. Once we made it back to the steps I was worried about getting her up them by myself. A man saw we were struggling and quickly rushed over and put her other arm around his neck and we brought her up the steps. We continued on by ourselves and then she stopped to sit beside Shishuballa again. It was then Shishuballa communicated to me that Dupally was blind. All that time I thought she could see. Some how she remembered where Shishuballa was sitting. We sat there the 3 of us together for a while longer. Shishuballa continued to hold Dupally's hand and Dupally had her head down in her lap. Shishuballa used her hands to tell me that Dupally was crying. I smiled and we sat there some more. Shishuballa used her hands to ask me where my bangles were and my rings. Indian women love their jewellery. I had to laugh when she asked me this! So cute. She then asked me for a scarf to wrap around herself, I saw one behind her and handed it to her. She wrapped it around her neck and head in Indian fashion and she was content.
Soon after, lunch came. Shishuballa asked for a spoon. I was beginning to get the sense that Shishuballa came from a wealthier family. She seemed to like having things done in a certain way. When her plate arrived she explained to me she only wanted to half of it and she offered me the other half. All this was done in a good-natured way, never in a demanding way and I found her to be very cute. I then went looking for a spoon for Shishuball and the two of them sat there together. Shishuballa fed herself and I tried feeding Dupally but she didn't want to eat much. She did however have quite a bit of water.
After lunch it was time to take all the patients to their beds for nap time I believe. I took Dupally to her bed, touched her face and said I would see her tomorrow.
· When I returned to the hotel after volunteering
I found Jeff resting. He had slept most of the morning and into the afternoon and was still not feeling up to volunteering that afternoon. I didn't want to leave him by himself anymore and I was exhausted anyway so I decided not go to my next shift at Daya Dan so we both just rested. I told Jeff
about my experience at Prem Dan. I couldn't stop talking about it. There was so much to say it was overwhelming. I was happy. It was a good day.
·
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